Qualms & Serenity;

For anything you have had absolutely no say in whatsoever, then it's Allah's test for you -Mufti Menk       I've never felt the luxury of having an elder sibling. Well, I know some of my friends complain about them, being teased for trivial things, kicked in the gut for some reason i don't think i want to remember? But despite hearing all the complaints, I can't help but realize the tinges of deep regard they have for their sister/brother between the lines of their frustration. They might talk to me as if they hated them their entire life but whenever their sister/brother encounters a good turn of events or need help in masses, my friends would not hesitate to spread the joy/awareness. And these good things are usually when they're getting married, needed customers for their new business, convocations, or maybe just a simple "hari ni kakak aku cakap dia rindu akuu!" Haha. and they have no idea how that made me feel happy inside and why I woul...

alhamdulillah, 'ala kulli hal Hi! Feels good to be back :D To Muslims out there, Ramadhan Kareem! May This Ramadhan be a stepping-stone-kinda month for us to maximize our crop yield in spiritual terms, if you know what I mean. Aamiin. So, I've learnt that I really should start my journal-ing habit again, the one where I'd bring a handy notebook everywhere i go- because there's just sO much to pour out of this noggin sometimes. Thats one. Second, because i hate it when the feel of a moment dies out like, 10 minutes after it happened and all I'm left with is a neutral, non-enthuasistic Houris in front of  a blank page. Well, at least not as amused as before, but you get what i mean. Jangan bertangguh! Ya Allah, when will I ever get tired of telling myself that, no one knows. Ok, quick update. Alhamdulillah, I'm doing somewhat well now. I do cat chores twice a day and try to catch up with each one of their eccentrics , wake up at 5 to help ready ...

Write a post in 15 minutes, can I pull it off? We'll see! Assalamualaikum, hi! Believe it or not, I'm currently in the middle of my finals and tomorrow's physics and I haven't finished studying, but AH , whats new? So, the main reason I'm drawing out some time for this is because I promised myself yesterday, and also because I want this to be engraved somewhere else besides my short-term memory capsule, because (!!!) the things I heard yesterday and from who it was coming from, are two things I want to never forget in my career pursuit. Yes, a Houris can be in a pursuit. Its only logical, despite how slow I seem. I berangan faster, is all. Along with Ayuni & Afina, we attended a forum on Racism & Islamophobia which showcased a prestigious panel of cendekiawans like Prof Madya Dr Hafidzi, Dato Dr Muhammad Ali, both educators in UPM itself and not to forget, Malaysia's promising novelist, En Hilal Asyraf. Among them three, Dr Hafidzi str...

is this picture supposed to give off a 'rajin' aura? Yes. Yes it is. And I am desperate for it. Assalamualaikum, and hi!       Today's a bit different. Here I am sitting in class filled with girls minding their own business. The aroma of nasi wok prancing around the room and into my nose, setting my insides to leap with excitement and also out of mild hunger. Usually I'd do this alone, right? In the darkness of the night and a melody of qasidahs or random piano music to keep myself company. Not today. Today, I needed a push from people or else, I know I won't come around the resolve to post weekly. Alhamdulillah, a lot has happened since the last time I wrote to you, and as for why I haven't shared them are all for the excuses I can't and won't accept myself. Some of the events being, umrah! retaking MUET papers! aand tertinggal a lot of classes in the process of both! Haha, not really something to be proud of, I know. So here I am, still ...

  "With the beautiful names of God, there are names that must always be mentioned together. And the name “Al-Mu’ti” (The Giver) is no exception as God is “The Giver – The Preventer”, Who prohibits in order to give, takes in order to give and lowers in order to raise." **      Its only 6.15 PM, yet for some reason, the weather outside is already dark with grey clouds lurking on everyone who's currently out for sports this evening. Despite the gloomy evening today is, the first day of sem 2 was not as bad as I expected. Being the worrywart I naturally am, I was tremendously anxious of what will happen earlier in the day. It has certainly been a while since I interacted with peers hence, the awkwardness. I'm pretty sure I wasn't the only one as I felt the tension and pressure rising in class from the start (since we all just got our sem 1 pointers 2 days back). To my awe, most of them were brilliant at hiding their emotions. Man, I wish it was easy to stri...

a small insight to Al-Jahiz's infamous 'Kitab Al- Hayawan' وَإِذْ يَمْكُرُ بِكَ الَّذِينَ كَفَرُوا لِيُثْبِتُوكَ أَوْ يَقْتُلُوكَ أَوْ يُخْرِجُوكَ ۚ وَيَمْكُرُونَ وَيَمْكُرُ اللَّهُ ۖ وَاللَّهُ خَيْرُ الْمَاكِرِينَ - 8:30 And [remember, O Muhammad], when those who disbelieved plotted against you to restrain you or kill you or evict you [from Makkah]. But they plan, and Allah plans. And Allah is the best of planners. Driven people have always captivated me.  Its as if they have only the most crucial thing I've lost- the uncanny ability to be enduring and ikhlas whilst pursuing their purposes in life. Its mesmerizing how that sincerity can actually be seen through that small spark in their eyes whenever they get into the zone. I haven't a purpose to begin with. You know, that controlling mindset I should be waking up to every morning, which ensures I get out of bed with a jolt of enthusiasm? Well, at least, not just yet.  Hmm, suppose individual...

From where I am right now, 18 and still mentally untact,  it may be true that I've yet to know just how surreal it feels like to hold my own child in my arms. If we're on the same boat, then you might not know either. Whether you'd cry or become speechless or never getting the whole experience at all. Wallahu A'lam, kan? That sure feeling though, the feeling of overwhelming love that envelopes both mother and child, those pure aspirations she set on her children the second she sees you out into the world for the very first time. At that time, I prefer to think that most mothers would never have it in their heart to immediately hope for us to become veterinarians, soldiers on the front lines, avenger of all her previous problems. No In her eyes, we were already special. Just for being born to this beautiful world. Such beautiful souls Allah has created for us- mothers No wonder the saying goes ' Allah's pleasure in in the pleasure of your parents...