good, good thoughts

alhamdulillah, 'ala kulli hal

Hi! Feels good to be back :D
To Muslims out there, Ramadhan Kareem! May This Ramadhan be a stepping-stone-kinda month for us to maximize our crop yield in spiritual terms, if you know what I mean. Aamiin.

So, I've learnt that I really should start my journal-ing habit again, the one where I'd bring a handy notebook everywhere i go- because there's just sO much to pour out of this noggin sometimes. Thats one. Second, because i hate it when the feel of a moment dies out like, 10 minutes after it happened and all I'm left with is a neutral, non-enthuasistic Houris in front of  a blank page. Well, at least not as amused as before, but you get what i mean.

Jangan bertangguh!
Ya Allah, when will I ever get tired of telling myself that,
no one knows.

Ok, quick update.
Alhamdulillah, I'm doing somewhat well now. I do cat chores twice a day and try to catch up with each one of their eccentrics , wake up at 5 to help ready the fam for sahur, 20% done with Marie Kondo-ing my room, got plans to go volunteering at PJ's PAWS centre aand at the same time having problems with other stuff as well. Its ok, I'll try to balance it with the good stuff. Hardship comes with ease, remember? Oh, I still haven't found books to digest yet, yet. Ultimately, It feels peachy to once again be aware of what I do and what I don't . From the things my eyes see, my fingers touch and also how it has been a while since I last woke up at three a.m.

Something really interesting happened today. It reassured me of how Allah's plans are always beautiful. Especially at times when you're not even expecting it and it just - happens. Its a 2-minute story, really of how Babak just came home from the pasar and randomly called me to come outside.
Eye-ing a package punctured with holes, I assumed he bought a baby duckling to keep Donald (our pet duck) company.

His teaser went; "Disebabkan kita takde hamba abdi, kita bebaskan hamba" abdi ni"

Surprise, surprise, he bought a pair of birds from the pet store. The kind of birds which people keep in cages out in their porch. He handed them over to me to do the honor of breaking their curse of living in captivity.  I smiled. Maybe this was a way for Babak to express happiness. Gratitude, by using our nikmah in the best possible way.

Unsure of what to do, I positioned the bag near to the ground because I was suddenly worried if the birds couldn't handle the wideness of the vast world outside their birdcage, since yknow? Born and raised in captivity? (lol, apparently I forgot how flying will always be a fitrah for this feathered couple) Out of my clumsiness, the pair didn't manage to fly out together, and unfortunately I didn't even manage to observe their appearances up-close. And so the whole scene ended under 2 minutes, leaving me rather dumbfounded at how random everything was.

Would they re-unite? Birds are life-long soulmates! What if I was the reason they'd die in solitude? Wait, what do they even look like to begin with?

Oh these small questions? They mean a lot to me.

However, I decided to quickly dry the laundry out in the balcony cse, it has been 3 hours since I was told to do so and I didn't want the clothes to miss out on the baking afternoon sun-rays here. And just as I was about to hang a shirt,

..two beautiful brown- feathered birds swooped into view with their white-coloured head. And it was them! I could feel it, because they just seemed so out of place. Second, its because my gut said so! Yes, Im quite the intuitive type. At that time, I really could not contain my happiness. When you let go of something in the niat of tawakkal, Allah will let you down a path that leads to a fortunate series of events. I mean, if I had not waited for three hours, I would've never had the chance to see them two reunited and probably off to set a new nest.

Let go, and Let God. 

My conclusion?
1. Let go of your worries, leave that up to Allah to surprise you in the best manner.
    If veterinary is good for you, then It'll go nowhere. If it eventually leaves you though, it's absence        is still the best for you.
2. Instead of anticipating your future outlook, spend your time waiting with 'sabrun jamil' (beautiful        patience) and serve, serve, serve!
3. Always.look.for.inspiration. Do you really think Hidayah comes easily?


-because I've been keeping my head down low, i've missed out on the beautiful, starry night up above

ps//that was just a random yt comment i bumped into >_<