Starting Things Off

is this picture supposed to give off a 'rajin' aura?

Yes. Yes it is. And I am desperate for it.

Assalamualaikum, and hi! 

     Today's a bit different. Here I am sitting in class filled with girls minding their own business. The aroma of nasi wok prancing around the room and into my nose, setting my insides to leap with excitement and also out of mild hunger. Usually I'd do this alone, right? In the darkness of the night and a melody of qasidahs or random piano music to keep myself company. Not today. Today, I needed a push from people or else, I know I won't come around the resolve to post weekly.

Alhamdulillah, a lot has happened since the last time I wrote to you, and as for why I haven't shared them are all for the excuses I can't and won't accept myself. Some of the events being, umrah! retaking MUET papers! aand tertinggal a lot of classes in the process of both! Haha, not really something to be proud of, I know. So here I am, still trying to find the hikmah around all this. I mean, I can't just blame my umrah trip for me being left out in studies. Both prices for 1. keberkatan umrah and 2. acing my test (well now that I've put it out in words) vary oh-so-extravagantly, no such comparison between the two should ever be spoken of or even exist in the first place!

There, I said it. So I should take some time to let that sink.

To counter this grey, suffocating vibe, I..

...turned for inspiration in the many quotes of  Ibn Qayyim Al- Jawziyyah (RA)

Well, for a while, I regrettably let myself sink in depression to which I found,

"There's nothing more beloved to Shaytaan than a depressed believer"

Due to that, I also kept my duas short in prayers to which his quotes smacked me with, 

"One of the most beneficial of remedies is persisting in du'a"

And soon after, wave after wave of truth bombs started to flung themselves on me, leaving me with no more excuses to carry on running away from my problems. And so life goes on.

-end of flashback-

     Fast forward to the present time, hehe yes, I deliberately delayed that previous post as well. Catching up, I'm now utilizing the library's public computer. Which, by the way, is my first time after humiliating myself as I hop from one pc to another in search of a functioning pc.

Alhamdulillah, test 1 was long over and I'm finally able to reboot myself productive-wise, as slow as I may be. I mean, I havta be grateful for any progress, right? Results? Hm, hadza min fadhli Rabbi, it wasn't much, nor it is disappointing, it was just as I deserved it :)

So, Houris. What's up with the long drought of entries? Ehe. To put things in a positive perspective, I've had much adulting done. The process included weeks of depression and deep talks with friends and family and Alhamdulillah, am feeling ever so grateful to be typing whatever here again.

One thing I haven't been able to overcome though, is my lack of syukur towards whatever, whenever the world throws at me. And just like a certain pinned tweet said; syukur, a simple concept, yet so hard to execute. Syukur for me, besides being the basis of islam itself, is also the reason you're able to solat sincerely, the reason you won't let another second slip away in vain and above all, the key to attaining love for our Rabb and I assure you that this love would be termed 'kekal abadi'.

Thats all the time I have today, sorry for lacking insight

May Allah grant us all istiqamah in all the good habits we wish to / have practised

I'll get better mentally too, InshaAllah :) 

ps/ my 2019 has only just begun XD