Reconsidering My Spirit Animal (jk love you sloths!)

Ok, first of all, i really can't shake off how meme-worthy these babies are hahaha ok dah

Assalamualaikum, hi everyone!!
Truthfully, i don't have much to say about this topic, because all i wanted to do initially was to slap myself for wasting so. much. time. during this quarantine period. But then again, its more to i (cant) say much about this because i feel like i am not up there yet to be spouting the meaning of things so gallantly, so...so.. randomly like this. But all in all, just pretend i am randomly stopping you in your tracks to converse with you on a beautiful Saturday evening. Houris as the chatterbox (who she thinks she is ) and you, as a loyal, ever-reflecting, soundboard!

Dont ask me what a soundboard is because i made that up.

Getting straight into the matter at hand, get this- sloth has more depth to it than just being lazy. How? Because, one can link sloth with sorrow, negligence or even falling out of love. But you cant do the same with the word 'lazy'. That is why scholars like Imam Al-Ghazali (RA) used this word in his quote;

"The man that is dominated by sloth will consider any spiritual struggle, discipline or purifying of the soul and refinement of character, unpleasant."

Possibly, it is to reflect the seriousness of this trait. If you find yourself being unable to taste the sweetness of imaan in your solat, or, unable to simply find the joy in doing anything at all that shapes good character - like cleaning the house, or listening to lectures, drinking good tea and good tea only ;) , or even the act of making your bed the first thing in the morning, then that alone already says enough. All of that indicates you falling out of love which remember, correlates to sloth- for it makes you feel burdened so much to the point you feel restless (serabut). In spiritual things, you may translate it to you falling out of your relationship with Allah, or in other mundane routines, it only shows that you no longer love yourself as you should. That's why you no longer do the things that shape you, because you dont see the profit of doing so anymore.

Which brings us to the other meaning of sloth - negligence. You don't care. ie ; I dont care if my grades are low, if my parents are sad of me for getting kicked out of college, I don't care if Allah is mad at me now, i can always taubat later (naudzubillah Ya Allah jauhkan perasaan ni plss :'( ) You see, up to this point, sloth isn't just about being lazy. Sometimes, it can happen to workaholics - whom neglect, or no longer make time for ibadah as they frantically focus on their duniawi matters, because!! - they fell out of love in the first place. Can you see the connection?

Its not like we're dumb or numb in terms of feeling. I mean, I'm only speaking based on experience- that's why i know. We're humans. And deep down, there's always, always a part of us that wants to do good. Hence, that part of us will feel immense sorrow during this whole ordeal. It's miserable really. Its like youre helplessly flailing for help, but too reluctant to scream or ask for it from the people around you.

Like satan basically. When banished from Jannah and promised with hell, he could always choose to keep on repenting until the end of time , yknow, being hopeful of Allah's mercy- but instead, he said something between the lines of "ok cool, i'll be sure to pull some friends along with me" .__.

So how exactly do we combat this sloth? Well, I'm not so sure myself. I'm still exploring my methods and again, I'm not that qualified to say such things. But what I do know, is that I have to fix my relationships first. With Allah, especially. And what better way to love Him, than to get to know Him first? I believe that it is perfectly fine to renew these things even if we're already old. InshaAllah, after gaining much knowledge, you'll find the meaning to your 'boring' routines. and as soon as that happens, i hope you'll fall in love once again.

Remember though, the path of getting to know God is not separate from the path to getting to know ourselves. Acknowledge your differences, as everyone sins differently, and keep pushing forward towards the one truth.

May Allah ease our 'different exam papers'  (if you get what i mean) and steer us clear from encountering sloth while we're at it. Aamiin.

Till then!


ps// i understand there might be a lot of loopholes so do tell me if you don't get my message or even better! feel free to correct me or share with me if you have anything to add :)