Regaining Composure

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Ha! This is it!
I've been holding myself back from writing lately (or typing lah ) primarily because kononnya I was waiting for the proper mood to come waltzing by yet here I am again, with so many inorganized thoughts, metaphorically diff coloured paint just itching to be all blended together on a single canvas. And so, the self-acclaimed picasso took up her brush and-

     Soon, it'll be a week since high school eternally ends for me and unsurprisingly here I am still, mourning over how things could've ended way better instead. Trust me, SPM wasn't a smooth cruise for the likes of myself. As happy as I am to see my friends smiling confidently upon exiting the exam hall, I was as equally so darn depressed to see myself down in the dumps. Astaghfirullah, I know. Never the one to be so chill about moving on, I still keep my late entries from 2008 and still hasn't come to the phase of missing anyone from school (yet). Really, this is such a tiring habit of mine, one that I'll definitely get rid of soon...

Okay, maybe not.

     In all honesty, phases like these personally has its pros if you don't overdo it. Growing up isn't quite about getting right back up abruptly after stumbling whilst acting as if nothing has ever happened before. Take some time to tend to your wounds, belai ke apa then only you get up strong, trudging onwards with a vivid reminder of what has happened in the past, accepting your flaws yet still ever so dauntless to carry on with the initial pursuit.

     Humans are beautiful that way. In what way exactly? By having both sweet and nasty personality in a single body, having both wolves inside, and whichever gets fed the most wins, same goes to how us Sunnis believe in the fact that our faith can also run up and down the stairs simply because its a fitrah for us humans. What matters the most is how we end up at the end, right? Whether our death will be greeted by the colour white or the dreaded black. *chills felt on spine*

Lost my direction yet again, gah
I'll come back prepared & less blank, you'll see!
(InshaAllah)

Just so you know, most colours didn't make it to this entry
*just in case you were wondering*


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