Qualms & Serenity;

Hi, long time no see! Oh and don't mind hiyoko up there, shes just being herself Well anyway, this isnt a fake post ppl Id like to clarify first and foremost that im a no good person myself to be saying all these motivational shizz but hey, lets just consider this a pep talk for you and ofc myself It took me a while to realize that the key to being good at something regardless of anything lah, like studying, drawing or debating.. the key is to actually  "DONT STOP!" hahahaha i know, pretty stupid huh? but its true! I'm sixteen and i've been through a lot of hard times (being a teen is tiring w all these raging emotions) Lets be a bit cocky now, ey? For example, i thought that was and will ever be a diligent kid so clever, i'd ace my form 4 subjects just like how i did  during middle school (sambil goyang kaki pulak tu!) and thenn i flunked my addmaths etc padahal the truth was, i was studious as heck dulu tampal...

Wee Well as you can see (if you realize lah) I've grown to become quite a rebel To be more exact; hard-headed and egotistical And well  we all know that you don't have to wait till Eid to apologize, right? So heres to everyone who knows of my existence friends, close friends, acquiantainces  especially my parents and uh siblings (You wont be getting more than this during eid) ((dasar ego tak bertempat)) From the deepest pit of my heart; I'm sorry for everything bad that has ever come in between us From blunt and harsh words to sudden rage outbursts- everything! I know I've been acting all weird this year  But, I promise things will get better! InshaAllah, better at being a servant, daughter, friend, or student.. ..you name it! Just.. help me keep on track 💞

Why can't we ask from Allah like a two year-old?

Don't you think that it is awfully tiring to meet up to other people's expectations? She's smarter, prettier, taller or whatnot Why don't you try to be more like a flower?  Because a flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it, It just blooms .

I'm pretty sure my life was not as chaotic as it is right now My locker used to be neater, I used to be a morning person, I used to find it hard to sleep in class, I used to smile a lot, I used to have time to do the laundry, Homework has never made it into mountains, And I never had to care about having problems with seniors (over silly stuffs pulak tu) I mean like,   why should I even cover my hair in front of you people !? (I'm in a girls school btw) ^ The fact that I'm already a  F4 and that problem has been (and still) bugging me since F1 ugh. But what disgusts me the most is that; My heart has never been this hard before. Ha. There you have it Thats probably the source of it all Tepuk dada tanya iman, ya You know what your faults are So I hope you know what to do to ; heal your sick  心. *  心  (Japanese; Kokoro) means "heart; mind; mentality; emotions; feelings"

Just so you know, I'm very fond of cats. I've got 27 of them at home actually. And each and every one of them has their own 'kerenah' This certain cat  (given name - Itik) at school however  is by far the quirkiest cat I've ever come across.    ☼.☼ "Itik! Sini Itik sini!" I could see her at Bay 2's towel rack doing something I'm not sure of. We've been close since last year - Itik and I (ceh) Its refreshing to see that old mangy cat still alive haha And so I called for her again. Several form ones looked here and there  (yep, them as budak dorm and me, a senior dorm, ha!) Some were only staring hard at me as though I'm hallucinating but nO!  To prove to them that I'm completely sane, I hastily made my way to Itik and  embraced her into a warm hug :) But then I realized something under the towel rack  (!!!) A dead sparrow with its intestines sprawled out! Ookay. A gift. Right. ...